Radio 4 hosted a discussion programme last week about our ageing world which raised many interesting questions, including at what age can we really be said to be old.
The discussion was led by Professor Sarah Harper, a gerontologist, and Bishop Richard Holloway of Edinburgh and you can hear it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b092t9b8
The impression we often get from the media is that older people are a burden on society. Parishes can highlight how their wisdom, experience and prayers can help us all to appreciate the gift of life. Read the full Parish Practice article by Growing Old Grace-fully’s project co-ordinator, Rachel Walker, here:
The Tablet The blessings of ageing, 020917issue
We are sorry that The Tablet editors added in the phrase “ people suffering from dementia”. This is a phrase Growing Old Grace-fully would not use. Many people living with dementia have asked that they are never referred to as “suffering with dementia” as they feel that this defines them entirely by their condition. They prefer the term ‘living with’ or ‘affected by’ dementia. Words do matter in helping us to see the person and not the condition.
Dr Georgina Binnie, Impact and Research Fellow (Writing Back Project) at the University of Leeds’ School of English is looking for older Yorkshire residents to be pen pals with University of Leeds students. All costs are covered and letters are sent via the School of English at the University of Leeds. Pen pals have the opportunity to meet up with one another at celebratory lunch events held during the course of the year.
Georgina says “The scheme was initially intended to tackle loneliness in older people but I quickly found that our students can be as lonely, if not more lonely, than some of our older participants, particularly when they are away from home for the first time and/or new to Leeds. Two hundred pen pals took part last year.”
If you, or anyone you know, might like to participate then email Georgina at G.E.Binnie@leeds.ac.uk or call 0113 343 6189. Students will return to the University at the end of September so Georgina will be looking at getting them matched up with their pen pals shortly after this date.
The session used the recently published guide “Welcoming Older People – ideas for and from parishes” in considering how we need to cherish the blessings of later life as well as address the challenges, and how parishes have a really important role in being ‘little places of belonging’.
Parish members shared some of the wonderful activities already happening including the thriving Retirement Club which takes place every Monday and has over 100 members. This led to Rachel Beedle talking with great enthusiasm about some of the smaller Friendship Clubs that Catholic Care are supporting, including the one that meets on a Tuesday afternoon in St Joseph’s Church Hall, Harrogate.
Both Rachels would like to thank both the people who attended for their warm welcome, and also those who made the session possible for their support.
If you are interested in arranging a session on how your parish can continue to be a ‘little place of belonging’ for older people, please contact Rachel on 07702 255142. If you would like to know more about Friendship Groups, and other groups for older people in our Diocese supported by Catholic Care, please call 0113 388 5400 or email info@catholic-care.org.uk .
You can read more about Ann’s dream here I have a dream by Ann West
Ann explains that this was written for an international project, to develop active ageing, called the Cinage Project. “The growth of the older population in numbers, and in how long we are likely to live after retirement, means that we all need to think about how life could be different for possibly 30 or more years post employment. I am part of a course run by Leeds Beckett University’s School of Performing Arts. We experience lots of different types of performance including, dance, singing, writing and reading out loud, watching films of different types of performance, learning about and from each other. We have been asked to write several pieces, which we read out. It is amazing how the topics open up conversations about very important issues to us, in our Third Age.”
The finished performance will be printed for an international conference on active ageing in November 2017…. and then, who knows?
Growing Old Grace-fully was delighted to be invited to talk about our new Guide ‘Welcoming Older People – ideas for and from parishes’ at all three masses on the weekend of the 24th-25th June. Thank you for making Rachel, our worker, so welcome. Thank you to Fr Kieron for giving Rachel his slot and thank you to the Parish Pastoral Council for inviting us.
Rachel talked about the Guide, which had been on display at both St Walburga’s and St Aidan’s the week before. Rachel talked about the impetus behind the Guide, the need to celebrate the gift of years that we have now, pointing out that we have more people living into old age than ever before. In 1917, the average life expectancy in Britain was 50 for a girl, and 45 for boys. There were less than 200 people aged 100, now there are over 15,000. We are all living longer. Isn’t that a great gift? Isn’t that something to celebrate?
Of course, as with any big changes, there are challenges to overcome and we need to work together to do that, but as followers of Christ we need to cherish the blessings as well. We need to bring light to the darkness – the darkness in the all the news stories moaning about how we cannot afford to support and care for “all these old people” but really telling us that older people are a problem, a burden. Has anyone ever seen a headline that talks about the value of older people? Rachel pointed out that grandparents in the UK provide an estimated £7.3 billion pounds of free childcare every year (GrandparentsPlus and Age UK Report, 2016).
Rachel concluded by saying that some of the ideas in the Guide are suggesting small changes to what is already happening, but that small changes can make a real difference. Mother Theresa said, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” 
Carers Week is an annual campaign by Carers UK to raise awareness of caring, highlight the challenges carers face and recognise the contribution they make to families and communities throughout the UK.
Carers Week 2017 will take place from Monday 12 to Sunday 18 June 2017. They are continuing the focus on building Carer Friendly Communities, which support carers to look after their loved ones well, while recognising that they are individuals with needs of their own. The campaign is brought to life by the individuals and organisations who come together to organise activities and events throughout the UK, drawing attention to just how important caring is. Click here to find out more, and perhaps see how your church could get involved.
Welcome Me As I Am has a helpful Caring About Carers workshop guide to help parish groups understand the experiences of carers and explore how to offer support.
By Anne Forbes, Trustee
One November evening some years ago my 93-year old father fell in his bedroom, fracturing his hip and collar bone. Excellent emergency care ensured that a week later, sitting up in hospital, he welcomed my daily visit and the local evening paper. He was less pleased however when he spotted the paper’s date, asking why I had brought a November newspaper when we were now in February… It was my first indication that the dementia which his mother had experienced was now manifesting itself in the son, possibly exacerbated by the recent anaesthetics. What I would have appreciated at that time was a copy of Adrian Treloar’s recent book Dementia: Hope on a difficult journey.
Dr Treloar is a consultant and senior lecturer in old-age psychiatry who has been developing and running services for people at all stages and severities of dementia for over twenty years. He is also a Catholic, so this helpful book of 29 short chapters is divided into those which concentrate on Practical Care and those which are concerned with Spiritual Care. Both sections are clearly presented, with an attractive readable typeface, and unusual illustrations, both paintings and photographs (but with few credits).
The chapters on Practical Care cover issues which can be found in many other dementia-information publications, but are succinctly explained with headings such as: What is Dementia? Medical treatments; Planning and Thinking about the Future; Ways of Communicating; Memories; Preparing a Life Story Book; Palliative Care, and others. These are prefaced by an interesting introduction which raises questions about the pros and cons of longer life – whether the joys of living to see one’s grandchildren grow up are offset by the illnesses which beset us in later years.
However, the most original chapters are those which concentrate on Spiritual Care. Although Dr Treloar is a Catholic, he hopes that these will be of value to people of all faith backgrounds. This section of the book begins as follows:
‘Dementia is often seen as a medical illness. But it is much more than that. Most of all, dementia is a social and spiritual illness; it is, for everyone, about a profound change in life and also part of a journey towards God. So if we neglect the spiritual dimension, then we fail our patients and loved ones’ (p101).
The section is preceded by chapters on Sin, Despair, and Hope, topics not usually found in dementia manuals. These stress the importance of finding out about a person’s faith background as early as possible, and suggest ways in which people can be supported in sustaining their lifelong beliefs. (Again I was reminded of my own experience with my father whose subsequent agitation could often be calmed by praying the rosary together in the evening, a custom he had learnt as a child is in rural Ireland). Almost all faith traditions have prayers, hymns and customs which can be recognised by people with dementia who have become familiar with these in earlier life; even the wearing of certain symbols, such as a crucifix, may be helpful. Treloar gives examples of Catholic sacramental practice and prayers, but whose example can be of value to others.
Towards the end of the book, Treloar has a chapter entitled ‘Supporting the faith of earlier life – Not the time for conversion’, whose title speaks for itself. Indeed, the whole book offers information for people of all religious faiths as well as for atheists, many of whom may have to go on this difficult journey at some time, and those may find themselves owing a debt of gratitude to Dr Treloar for his wise advice.
Dementia: Hope on a difficult journey by Dr Adrian Treloar is published by Redemptorist Publications http://www.rpbooks.co.uk/products/1734/dementia-hope-on-a-difficult-journey (2016, Redemptorist Publications, £9.95, ISBN 9780852314715).
Dementia Awareness Week 14th to 20th May – Inspired by this Growing Old Grace-fully, in partnership with Catholic Care http://www.catholic-care.org.uk/services/older-peoples-services/, invite you to arrange a Dementia Friends session for your parish. Dementia Friends is a social action movement that is helping to change the way we think, speak and act about the condition. The session lasts no more than an hour and is interactive and upbeat. We will provide a Dementia Champion to run the session and help you spread the word. Please call Rachel on (07702) 255142 or email growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk to arrange a date or find our more.
People from all over our Diocese and beyond joined together to explore together the content of Welcoming Older People: ideas for and from parishes at an evening launch reception at Leeds Church Institute on 4th May.
Our new Parish Pack offers a wealth of spiritual and practical ideas to support church communities in valuing older people and benefiting from their gifts. We were delighted that parishioners and religious from across the Diocese joined us in launching this invaluable resource for Christians of all denominations, along with a number of representatives from a wide range of organisations including Catholic Care, St Vincent De Paul Society, Christians on Ageing, Methodist Homes (MHA), Faith in Elderly People and Leeds Older People’s Forum.
The Right Reverend Marcus Stock, Bishop of Leeds, says in his Foreword, “This Guide is offering practical suggestions and real examples of how parishes in our diocese and beyond are exploring how we can learn from and care for older people. I wholeheartedly support the vision and recommendations contained in this guide. I hope you will use it to consider how older people’s gifts, wisdom, experience and prayers can help all of us to appreciate the precious gift of life and live that life fully with God’s grace.”
The evening included a short multiple-choice Quiz to help open the discussion to consider God’s gift of age, “the greatest triumph and challenge of the 21st century” (WHO 2002), and to reflect on how we are all responding to that challenge as part of the Church’s mission.
All who attended took a copy of the pack back to their parishes or organisations with an invitation to arrange a short session in their own community, led by Growing Old Grace-fully in partnership with Catholic Care, to support the valuing of older people and benefiting from their gifts.
