Some prayers and ideas shared at our Discussion Event on 4th November

About 20 of us met on Zoom on a cold evening with fireworks going off in the background! We had a good time together sharing issues and ideas around starting up and continuing activities and support for older people in our parishes at this strange time of transition.

Sister Bernadette from the Sisters of Mercy led us first in LAMENT remembering the difficult times we have come through and still have to navigate:

“As we gather this evening, we are conscious that we have lived and are living through a pandemic. This is something many of us may have never imagined.”

“The flow of life has changed, our way of life has been affected, and the crisis seems unending. Life has been difficult in so many ways and each person here tonight will be aware of that in some way, as an individual, a family, a colleague in a workplace or as a member of a Parish.”

“Our one constant through this journey of the pandemic has been our God, our companion, our comforter, our hope, our strength, our guide. The God who at times was close or who may have seemed far away.”

After a Lockdown poem, we moved on to expressing HOPE and STRENGTH as we move forward, with the words of Isaiah and prayers of commitment and faith:

We are not people of fear:
We are people of courage.
We are not people who protect our own safety:
We are people who protect our neighbours’ safety.
We are not people of greed:
We are people of generosity.
We are your people God, giving and loving,
Wherever we are,
Whatever it costs,
For as long as it takes
Wherever you call us.

We then broke into 3 DISCUSSION GROUPS on the following themes:

  1. Restarting or starting groups and activities
  2. Online or ‘in person’ or both?
  3. Supporting the vulnerable and reconnecting with the disconnected

GROUP 1: RESTARTING OR STARTING ACTIVITIES

With help from Hillary Wadsworth from Time to Shine, some of the themes discussed here were:

GROUP 2: ONLINE OR IN PERSON OR BOTH?

Rachel Beedle from Catholic Care who works with their older people’s groups facilitated this group – their main points were:

GROUP 3: SUPPORTING THE VULNERABLE AND RECONNECTING

Mo Crossley from Huddersfield facilitated this group, enabling input from SVP and others, resulting in a good discussion with the following main points:

Feedback showed that attendees enjoyed both the reflections/prayers and the discussions, and we hope it was helpful to all to come together and share ideas and concerns.

We are now starting to plan for some events/content in the Spring on the theme of ‘Finding our Calling in Later Life’ – watch this space (as they say!).

A natural end – can a frank discussion of dying feel helpful?

As we age, or as our health deteriorates, we can make plans for what treatments we would wish to avoid or where we would like to be cared for.  In a recent edition of The Tablet (26th May 2018),  a palliative medicine pioneer explains that it’s often a surprise to patients and families that a frank discussion of dying can feel so helpful.

When I was working for MHA, a key part of the work of the Chaplaincy team in MHA Care Homes and Independent Living communities was the development of “The Final Lap” – a programme to train staff to support residents and their families as they explore what the last days of life will mean for them.  My initial reaction at the time was shock, and the thought came to me “who wants to think about this?”.  I came to realise this is my own fear talking, my own denial about a process that is as natural as birth.  What I came to understand is that it it possible to respond to planning our dying in a positive and creative way.  “The Final Lap” philosophy is based on 3 key principles:

  1. Create a culture that faces the reality of death openly, as part of human life, and to deliver support that makes it a more positive experience for everyone.
  2. Different people have different ideas about what makes a ‘good death’, so preparation and planning based around the individual’s wishes are important.
  3. Supporting someone who is dying can be difficult, but it can also be very rewarding.  Final Lap training will help staff identify and address their support needs more effectively.

The Tablet article tells the true story of Ignatio, a man who is coming to the end of his life and finds relief and freedom in being able to talk about what he would like and, importantly, not like as part of his Advance Care Planning.  The full article is behind a paywall here , and details about the author, Kathryn Mannix, and her latest book can be read here .

Our parishes have an important role in helping us ‘pack for the journey’.  The Church offers hope and comfort because it is rooted in the belief that God made us to enjoy eternal life with Him.  We are blessed with some special prayers and sacraments that give meaning to sickness and death.

Growing Old Grace-fully are thinking about offering a short session to parish groups on planning your Catholic funeral.  This session will also offer the opportunity for people to start to explore some of the deeper questions and considerations for a parish in helping people think about their own end of life wishes.  Is this something you think your parish might be interested in?  Please get in touch with Rachel at growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk or call 07702 255142 for a chat.

Rachel Walker, Project Co-ordinator

Dementia Friendly Parishes in our Diocese

I was made so welcome at two different parishes in Dewsbury Deanery this month.

I enjoyed my visit to the Happy Memories Group at St Paulinus Church Hall, Dewsbury last Thursday.  This group is run by volunteers and run activity groups for people with a dementia type illness and their carers. They are active, lively groups, with activities designed to stimulate and exercise both body and mind. Carers have a choice of staying for the session or having a break for the session.

The driving force behind Happy Memories is Cath Knowles, shown here with husband Ron who also is very involved in supporting the Group.

Cath told me “I run the Group and have done for 11 years. We are all volunteers and consist of 4 groups in total.  We have around 90 people on our books and we support carers and former carers.I have applied to make our group a dementia friendly group and this is a work in progress.  Although we meet at St Paulinus Parochial Hall twice a month, we are not specifically a church group and people come from all over North Kirklees to attend our groups.We also have a group that meets at St Andrews Methodist Church Hall in Mirfield twice a month, a luncheon Club Monthly and a carers friendship group monthly.”

The Group are doing much needed work to help support people living with dementia and their carers.  They are supported financially by local community groups and individuals, but get no statutory funding.

 

Last Saturday I was back in the deanery sharing a Dementia Friends session at St Paul of the Cross in Cleckheaton.  I was delighted that 25 people, including parishioners from St Mary of the Angels in Batley, came to the session and each attendee became a Dementia Friend.  Parish priest Fr Nicholas commented “Simply bringing people together is important, allowing them to know that they are not facing issues in isolation”.  It was very good to attend a quiet Mass after the session with some of the people I met. Thank you to all who came along for your warm welcome and thoughtful contributions.

 

Don’t forget that it’s Dementia Action Week  from 21st-27th May 2018, and I would love to hear what your parish or local community are doing to help people live well with dementia.

Rachel Walker, Project Co-ordinator

Spring Pilgrimage in North Wales

I have never seen so many wild primroses, got too hot in April by the sea in the UK, been blessed in water from 6th century St Seiriol’s Well and seen a circle of yew trees nearly 3,000 years old!

 

I was staying at Noddfa, a retreat centre in North Wales which I visit every year. I was on a pilgrimage following some of the Celtic saints in the area. We were mostly older people, helping each other down stone steps and up a steep Bronze Age grass burial mound where, “latterly” (i.e. over a 1000 years ago), some of the Celtic saints are also buried. As I get older I find it important to try and learn new things and be invigorated, as creation around us is growing and renewing after the winter.

 

We began and ended each day with Celtic prayer and music. We read about the “living water” that Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman at the well (Jn.4:10). Then we went to Anglesey to Penmon Priory, to the Well, Spring and 6th century stone outline of St Seiriol’s Cell. He was a hermit but people flocked to him to be blessed and healed in the water from the Well. There is an enclosed stone platform around clear water, and this was where I saw thousands of primroses in the grave yard of the mediaeval priory built by the Well.

 

Another day we went to Gwytherin, the site of St Winefride’s (Gwenffrewi), 7th century burial place. She was associated with Holywell, near Flint, where many visit. It is known as the Lourdes of Wales. We did not go there but to the site of the monastery where she lived and in a monastic community.There are four yew trees at the place, nearly 3,000 years old which probably were planted by Druids for their gatherings. The Christians later moved on to the site. Under the current church was the wooden monastic community where St Winefride and others lived, next to the ancient burial mound. It had a wooden church on top of the Bronze Age mound in Winefride’s day.

 

There is no longer evidence of these wooden structures. St Winefride’s body was supposedly removed to Shrewsbury by a monk in the 12th century. Did he? Is she still there? The other Saints remain. But for the Celtic Christians, for me and others on the Pilgrimage, it isn’t so much about the testable evidence, but a spirit, and energy, the history, a “knowing” at these holy places… I think older people with life experience, and a long relationship with God and other people, can pray and “know” some of the infinite aspects of God and the Saints, in the mystical tradition espoused by Richard Rohr, Joan Chittister and many others. I visited a number of sites where Celtic Saints have lived, and where they have healed and baptised in springs and wells in places which have been centres of pilgrimage for over a 1,000 years, there is a presence and a knowing that we experienced, shared and take back to our homes and parishes. I feel invigorated with learning and experiencing some new ways of living my faith. Happy Spring time to all!

Pippa Bonner – wife, daughter, mother and grandmother, writer and trustee

Can you spare three minutes to complete our survey?

Complete our survey

What next for Growing Old Grace-fully?

Our work for the past three years, in raising awareness of the contribution of older people in our parishes and helping to respond to their spiritual and practical needs, has been possible because of a generous gift from The Society of the Sacred Heart. This work has included production of our guide, “Welcoming Older People – ideas for and from parishes” – an 88 page resource to support parishes in this Diocese and beyond in cherishing the blessings of ageing and helping to overcome its challenges.  We still have printed copies available which can be ordered from Rachel on 07702 255142 or by emailing growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk .

As our funding finishes at the end of this year, we are taking the opportunity to think about where we should focus our efforts from 2019 onwards.

Please help us by taking 3 minutes to complete our survey on how your parish welcomes older people here 

Togetherness Builds Community at St Clare’s, Bradford

I was delighted to be invited to the First Anniversary Celebration of the Parish of St Clare Relax and Craft Group yesterday.

Fr Stephen celebrated Mass and Sr Catherine gave a reflection starting with the Gospel reading – the story of Martha and Mary.  Sr Catherine said the Relax and Craft Group was designed to embrace the gifts of both Mary and Martha.  Members of the group are busy working whilst at the same time creating space to listen to each other.

Sr Catherine went on to thank all the people who’d been involved in the group since it started a year ago including Fr Stephen, the Community Centre Committee and all the people who attend.

Sr Catherine asked everyone to look at the blanket of knitted squares on display, completed by the group.  “You will find out motto ‘Togetherness Builds Community’ attached to it.  We try to live by this as it expresses our guiding ideal.  We constantly need to strengthen the sense of community in our parish and in our city and build bridges not walls.  Working together, we human beings can accomplish amazing good,” she explained.

 

“God has provided among us all the giftedness and talents needed for building up the community,”  Sr Catherine continued.  “The challenge is to go on encouraging and inviting those blessed with talent and ability to share these gifts with others.  Let us continue to Aspire, to Inspire before we Expire.”

 

Here are some of the comments the group members have made to Sr Catherine:

“I feel needed and feel good about myself.”

 “I have never felt so alive.”

 “I feel trusted and can share my innermost feelings.”

 “I enjoy the craft and meeting everyone.”

Thank you for inviting Growing Old Grace-fully to hear your inspiring story.

Rachel Walker, Project Co-ordinator 

Our first Roadshow session at Blessed John Henry Newman Parish

Rachel Walker from Growing Old Grace-fully  and Rachel Beedle from Catholic Care Older People’s Services led a short session to explore how the parish of Blessed John Henry Newman might continue to celebrate the gifts of older people, as well as support people in some of the challenges that may come along as we age.

The session used the recently published guide “Welcoming Older People – ideas for and from parishes” in considering how we need to cherish the blessings of later life as well as address the challenges, and how parishes have a really important role in being ‘little places of belonging’.

Parish members shared some of the wonderful activities already happening including the thriving Retirement Club which takes place every Monday and has over 100 members.  This led to Rachel Beedle talking with great enthusiasm about some of the smaller Friendship Clubs that Catholic Care are supporting, including the one that meets on a Tuesday afternoon in St Joseph’s Church Hall, Harrogate.

Both Rachels would like to thank both the people who attended for their warm welcome, and also those who made the session possible for their support.

If you are interested in arranging a session on how your parish can continue to be a ‘little place of belonging’ for older people, please contact Rachel on 07702 255142.  If you would like to know more about Friendship Groups, and other groups for older people in our Diocese supported by Catholic Care, please call 0113 388 5400 or email info@catholic-care.org.uk .

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!

Leeds Homeshare is a scheme that aims to prove the opening words of Psalm 133 to be true.

 

The scheme carefully matches an older person, who might need some help to live independently in their own home, with someone who has a housing need.  In  return for providing low cost accommodation, the older person gets a minimum of 10 hours of help with daily living tasks like cleaning, shopping, gardening or  walking the dog.

But it’s really about companionship, about living with someone in unity and, as the Psalm says, it can be so ‘good and pleasant’.  It can help older people stay independent and in their own home for longer and offers companionship and new relationships for both the homeowner and the homesharer.

It’s a safe and supported arrangement, with Shared Lives in Adult Social Care taking references, checks and assessments to help ensure risk and safeguarding issues are well managed.

If you have a spare room and would be interested in having a chat about this, with no obligations, then please call Cath Ormerod on 0113 378 5410 or email homeshare@leeds.gov.uk.  More details can be found here Homeowner leaflet .

Richest Blessings for Christmas

lovecamedown-picLove came down at Christmas,

Love all lovely, love divine,

Love was born at Christmas,

Star and angels gave the sign.

Christine Rossetti (1830-94)

 

Dear friend

The period before Christmas can be a particularly busy one.  Here at Growing Old Grace-fully we too have been swept up in the busyness as we have been developing a pack of ideas for and from parishes to help in “Welcoming Older People” which we are hoping to launch early in 2017.

We want this pack of ideas to inspire practical actions that support the growth of later life friendly parishes in our own Diocese of Leeds, as well as beyond our Diocese.  It is our hope and our prayer that this pack really makes a positive difference when it comes to support older people and valuing their gifts.  Every topic we consider focuses on “What your parish can do” in a variety of areas including:

  • Vocation in Later Life
  • Growing a Dementia-Friendly Parish
  • Being Mortal
  • Tackling Loneliness
  • Caring for Carers.

We are so grateful to have been given a generous donation towards the production of this pack by The Grail Society.  This means we can get the pack designed and laid out to make it easy to use.  We aim to have printed packs available by Spring 2017, and we hope the 8 Chapters will be available even earlier for downloading on our website.  We will make sure we let you know when they are ready, as well as how to get your copy.

In last year’s Christmas Newsletter, we included an excerpt from a talk by John Bell of the Iona Community who made the surprising statement that “Advent and Christmas are about old people”.

Last Christmas Day, on Radio 4’s “Thought for the Day”, John developed this idea in more detail.  He spoke about preaching at midnight mass in Dundee when he asked the congregation:

3-wise-kids“I wonder who among us was once a shepherd?  I wonder who among us was once a wise man?  There was an outburst of laughter when I asked who had once been the hind legs of the donkey.”

John continues:

“For many people, their introduction to the Christmas story will have been through taking part as a child in a school or church nativity play. Maybe this explains the origin of the phrase, ‘Christmas is a time for the children.’

 The irony of it all is that there are no children with leading roles in the Christmas story. Jesus was not born in a kindergarten surrounded by infants wearing their father’s dressing gown or their mother’s tea towels.

 3-wise-menMost of the main players are old – Elizabeth, Zechariah, Simeon and Anna have their elderly status clearly underscored in the Bible. The Shepherds would not be toddlers; and the wise men wouldn’t be wise unless they were old. In those days wisdom did not come through attaining a Ph.D in your mid-twenties.

 The Christmas story is, rather, about God expecting older people to enable a new and surprising thing to happen.

 I saw this truth alive and well last week when I visited a Roman Catholic church hall which has become the welcome centre for Syrian refugees. Most of those helping out were retired.  None had experience of relating to Arabic speaking Muslims before. But like the people in the nativity story they felt somehow summoned to welcome and enable a new thing to happen.

 So if you once were a shepherd or an angel or even the hind legs of the donkey, don’t let Christmas simply be a time for regression therapy…..particularly when now as always, God is looking for older people to be the midwives of the new things that need to happen.”

John Bell, Christmas Day 2015, Radio 4

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

 We wish all Growing Old Grace-fully’s friends and supporters God’s richest blessings for Christmas and the coming year.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee             Carol Burns, Chair                Anne Forbes, Trustee

Paul Grafton, Trustee      Cath Mahoney, Trustee              Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

Thank you to our Trustees

This week, 31st October-6th November, is Trustee’s Week and I want to say a massive

THANK YOU

to all our trustees for their enthusiasm and commitment, as well as the skills and wisdom they have brought to direct Growing Old Grace-fully‘s work in the Diocese.

More discussion

Paul, Ann, Anne, Carol, Pippa, Cath and Fr Peter are all volunteers and all bring different skills  and experience to the role, but they all share a desire to support parishes in welcoming older people. http://www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Meet-The-Management-Committee.pdf

If you also believe we should cherish the blessings of age and think parishes need more support to help value the gifts of older people, then I would love to talk to you.  We are looking for Trustees to help make a difference at an exciting time as we develop new ideas and deliver new projects.  The role would require about 4 hours a month of your time. 

For more information please email me at growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk or call me on 07702 255142.

Rachel, Project Development Officer