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Richest Blessings for Christmas

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lovecamedown-picLove came down at Christmas,

Love all lovely, love divine,

Love was born at Christmas,

Star and angels gave the sign.

Christine Rossetti (1830-94)

 

Dear friend

The period before Christmas can be a particularly busy one.  Here at Growing Old Grace-fully we too have been swept up in the busyness as we have been developing a pack of ideas for and from parishes to help in “Welcoming Older People” which we are hoping to launch early in 2017.

We want this pack of ideas to inspire practical actions that support the growth of later life friendly parishes in our own Diocese of Leeds, as well as beyond our Diocese.  It is our hope and our prayer that this pack really makes a positive difference when it comes to support older people and valuing their gifts.  Every topic we consider focuses on “What your parish can do” in a variety of areas including:

  • Vocation in Later Life
  • Growing a Dementia-Friendly Parish
  • Being Mortal
  • Tackling Loneliness
  • Caring for Carers.

We are so grateful to have been given a generous donation towards the production of this pack by The Grail Society.  This means we can get the pack designed and laid out to make it easy to use.  We aim to have printed packs available by Spring 2017, and we hope the 8 Chapters will be available even earlier for downloading on our website.  We will make sure we let you know when they are ready, as well as how to get your copy.

In last year’s Christmas Newsletter, we included an excerpt from a talk by John Bell of the Iona Community who made the surprising statement that “Advent and Christmas are about old people”.

Last Christmas Day, on Radio 4’s “Thought for the Day”, John developed this idea in more detail.  He spoke about preaching at midnight mass in Dundee when he asked the congregation:

3-wise-kids“I wonder who among us was once a shepherd?  I wonder who among us was once a wise man?  There was an outburst of laughter when I asked who had once been the hind legs of the donkey.”

John continues:

“For many people, their introduction to the Christmas story will have been through taking part as a child in a school or church nativity play. Maybe this explains the origin of the phrase, ‘Christmas is a time for the children.’

 The irony of it all is that there are no children with leading roles in the Christmas story. Jesus was not born in a kindergarten surrounded by infants wearing their father’s dressing gown or their mother’s tea towels.

 3-wise-menMost of the main players are old – Elizabeth, Zechariah, Simeon and Anna have their elderly status clearly underscored in the Bible. The Shepherds would not be toddlers; and the wise men wouldn’t be wise unless they were old. In those days wisdom did not come through attaining a Ph.D in your mid-twenties.

 The Christmas story is, rather, about God expecting older people to enable a new and surprising thing to happen.

 I saw this truth alive and well last week when I visited a Roman Catholic church hall which has become the welcome centre for Syrian refugees. Most of those helping out were retired.  None had experience of relating to Arabic speaking Muslims before. But like the people in the nativity story they felt somehow summoned to welcome and enable a new thing to happen.

 So if you once were a shepherd or an angel or even the hind legs of the donkey, don’t let Christmas simply be a time for regression therapy…..particularly when now as always, God is looking for older people to be the midwives of the new things that need to happen.”

John Bell, Christmas Day 2015, Radio 4

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

 We wish all Growing Old Grace-fully’s friends and supporters God’s richest blessings for Christmas and the coming year.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee             Carol Burns, Chair                Anne Forbes, Trustee

Paul Grafton, Trustee      Cath Mahoney, Trustee              Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

Thank you to our Trustees

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This week, 31st October-6th November, is Trustee’s Week and I want to say a massive

THANK YOU

to all our trustees for their enthusiasm and commitment, as well as the skills and wisdom they have brought to direct Growing Old Grace-fully‘s work in the Diocese.

More discussion

Paul, Ann, Anne, Carol, Pippa, Cath and Fr Peter are all volunteers and all bring different skills  and experience to the role, but they all share a desire to support parishes in welcoming older people. http://www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Meet-The-Management-Committee.pdf

If you also believe we should cherish the blessings of age and think parishes need more support to help value the gifts of older people, then I would love to talk to you.  We are looking for Trustees to help make a difference at an exciting time as we develop new ideas and deliver new projects.  The role would require about 4 hours a month of your time. 

For more information please email me at growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk or call me on 07702 255142.

Rachel, Project Development Officer

Can you put a value on Grandparenting?

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Where would we be without grandparents, who deliver an estimated £7.3 billion of free childcare each year (Grandparents Plus & Age UK Report, May 2013).

pope-francis-and-older-personPope Francis marked Italy’s Grandparents’ Day on 2nd October with a reception of older people and their carers.   Here is an excerpt from his speech:

“The Church regards the elderly with affection, gratitude, and high esteem. They are an essential part of the Christian community and of society: in particular they represent the roots and the memory of a people.”

“I think of how many you make yourselves available in parishes for a truly valuable service: some of you are dedicated to decorating the house of the Lord, others as catechists, leaders of the liturgy, others as witnesses to charity. And what about their role in the family? How many grandparents care for grandchildren, simply by passing on to children the experience of life, the spiritual and cultural values of a community and a people!”

Grandparents’ Day was introduced in the UK in 1990 by Age Concern, but has never really taken off here.  Perhaps we should celebrate the value of Grandparenting in our parishes on the 26th July on the Feast of St Anne and St Joachim – Mary’s parents and so the Grandparents of Jesus.  If your parish does something special to remember Grandparents on this day, or at any other time, please let us know here at Growing Old Grace-fully.  We’d love to share it with other parishes.

I leave you with the words of Pope Francis “Dear grandfathers and grandmothers, thank you for your example of love, dedication and wisdom. Continue with courage to bear witness to these values!”

Simeon’s Watch – coming to a church near you?

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Riding Lights Theatre Company have asked Growing Old Grace-fully to tell people about “SIMEON’S WATCH” – a family adventure before Christmas by Bridget Foreman.
Riding Lights have told us that Simeon’s Watch is an engaging new play for a family audience about… family. A delightful story about what growing old might mean, about being surprised, remembering love and discovering hope.
Leah keeps losing things. First it was her knitting, and now her father keeps wandering off. She frequently loses her temper and some days she thinks she’s losing her mind. Or is it her father Simeon who’s doing that? Staring out of the window, muttering about angels, waiting with unshakeable conviction for ‘God knows what’. It’s all a game to Leah’s daughter, which only makes things worse.
Something has to change.
As the nights draw in, Leah watches her father wind down and her daughter race ahead. She seems to be waiting too – but for what? And when the whole family is drawn to a starlit hillside, what more is to be lost and found?

The show is now booking for a national tour: October – December 2016 and your parish can book a performance now by contacting Beth on 01904 613000 or emailing beth@rltc.org .

You can find out more at www.ridinglights.org/simeons-watch

Riding Lights ask for a booking fee of £300, then the box office takings are split 25% (to the venue) and 75% (to the company). They have set the ticket prices at £12 a ticket and £10 for concessions.

Easter Newsletter

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resurrection crossThis Eastertide,
May we be blessed with the promise of rebirth wherever we are and whoever we may be.
May the birds carol and rejoice that we are all alive under one sky
May our spirits unfurl like a sunflower following the arc of light
And may we all feel the blessing of this good earth And rejoice in the good news of this Easter and a Joyful Springtime.
(adapted from an  Irish blessing)

Dear friend

After a long wet and windy Winter, what a joy it is to see the world around us coming back to life with spring flowers, fresh buds, blossoms, birds singing their hearts out, new born lambs. All these wonderful signs of life continually renewed.

At Growing Old Grace-fully we have been thinking and praying about where we need to focus our efforts in the coming year – a renewal of our approach.  We have asked the questions “What is the difference we want to make in the Diocese?” and “What are the changes we would like to see in the parishes relating to older people and later life by 2018?”

Our purpose has not changed.  We will continue to seek to raise awareness of the spiritual and practical needs of older people, and their contribution to our communities across the Diocese of Leeds.  We want to focus more of our efforts on inspiring and supporting practical actions within the parishes by:

  • Sharing best practice through our website www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk
  • Helping create local solutions to local needs
  • Offering information, support and advice to parishes
  • Encouraging dementia-friendly parishes.

The spiritual needs of people with dementia, and their carers, is often overlooked.  To be a dementia-friendly parish is to find ways to include people with dementia so that they are helped to experience life in all its fullness.  Rachel Walker, our project worker, is a Dementia Champion and is leading a number of short sessions on Becoming a Dementia-Friendly Parish at:

  • St Joseph’s, Pudsey                 Monday 18th April, 7.30pm-8.30pm
  • St Walburga’s, Shipley            Tuesday 19th April, 7.45pm-8.45pm
  • Corpus Christi, Leeds 9          Wednesday 18th May, 7.00pm-8.00pm

dementia Autumn leaves imageTo understand how your parish can work towards becoming dementia-friendly, or to discuss other ways of valuing and supporting people in later life, please call Rachel on (07702) 255142 or email growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk . 

God does not value people according to their memory and skills but loves each one of us unconditionally.   The work of Growing Old Grace-fully aims to help the Church to be aware of the effects of mental and physical diminishment on older members, but also to cherish the blessings of ageing… the potential and the joys.  Fr Ralph Woodall SJ writes:

old and young hands“The task and privilege of older people is to gather, appreciate more deeply and treasure the hints of God’s presence that they have known and generously to share the wisdom that they have received as gift from God.

It may be that the wisdom is still implicit: they have not quite appreciated how important have been those occasions in their lives where they have helped others or been helped by others.

Older members of the community should have no need to be independent; they can help others to realise how inter-dependence is part of God’s plan for our lives, for building his kingdom.

This can make older people very precious in the Christian community.”

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

Every Blessing.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee                        Carol Burns, Trustee                     Anne Forbes, Trustee

 

 Paul Grafton, Chair                      Cath Mahoney, Trustee                 Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

 

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

Grieving and dementia

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Year of Mercy logoOne of our trustees, Pippa, led a talk about Dementia within a Charismatic Day in our Diocese in the context of The Year of Mercy. Pippa defined Mercy in this context principally as compassion.  Fr Keen’s quotation is particularly relevant for those living with dementia and their carers.

Mercy is the willingness to enter the chaos of someone else’s life.                      James F Keen, SJ

The talk included helpful advice when speaking with a person with dementia who has had a bereavement. Maria Longfellow, an Occupational Therapist, put the material together from a number of sources. It is an area that many wonder how best to handle but here are some resources that might be helpful.

Helping the Person with Dementia Grieve After the Death of a Loved One – Beth S. Patterson, MA, LPC.html

 

Christmas Greetings

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Joy

May the joy of the angels,
The wonder of the shepherds,
And the peace of the Christ Child,
Fill your hearts this Christmas time;
And may God’s blessing be with you,  now and for always. Amen.

 

We wish you all a peaceful Christmas.  Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in our work by supporting one or more of our events over the last five years; a Conference on Ageing, a Retreat Day or a ‘Welcoming People with Dementia’ Day , for example.

EventsAs well as a programme of events around the Diocese, we also are working to support best practice in parishes and deaneries through sharing stories, news and resources on our website www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk .  It is our hope and our prayer that our work encourages older people to celebrate what has been, rejoice in what is and trust in God for what will be shown to us and through us, in the times to come.

Our plans for the next 12 months are to continue our event programme to offer:

  1. Retreat Days
  2. Quiet Days for Carers
  3. Gatherings to help parishes be more dementia-friendly and Welcome People with Dementia
  4. Days to reflect on Living Well and Dying Well

We also are hoping to start to recruit a network of Friends who will each help us spread news of events in their parish, as well as helping to gather news of good practice to share in future newsletters and on our website.

Our programme has been shaped by what older people have told us they want and need.

 

A few years ago, at around this time, John Bell of the Iona Community said “Advent and Christmas… are about old people.” If you find that statement surprising, then you’re not alone.  Many of us consider Christmas to be about children, but John Bell reminds us that they don’t feature in the story.

Liz and Zach

“The Advent stories begin with an elderly couple, Elizabeth and Zachariah, who become parents in their old age

and Simeon and Anna recognise the uniqueness in Mary’s tiny baby,because God will not have people marginalised or written off on account of age.

And when we see three wise men worshipping Jesus and then going home by another way,

we see God’s belief and expectation that older folk can change and will change when they recognise the truth.”

 John Bell, Advent Talk on Radio 4

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

Every Blessing for 2016.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee                        Carol Burns, Trustee               Anne Forbes, Trustee

 

Paul Grafton, Chair                 Cath Mahoney, Trustee          Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

 

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

‘Called To Be Old’

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Carol

People gathered at Wheeler Hall in Leeds this Autumn from all over our Diocese to reflect on older people’s gifts to the Church and to society.

Ann talks

Ann Morisy

Community Theologian and best-selling author Ann Morisy led the morning session.  Ann’s keynote address included space for discussion and we were invited to consider how we resist a habitual undervaluing of older people and negative attitudes to old age, especially given that current and future ‘third agers’ may have to withstand this subtle undervaluing for 30 years.  We are living so much longer than previous generations and are therefore older for longer.  Ann also invited everyone to discuss the role of Church in keeping us cheerful in later life, highlighting a study by the LSE of 10,000 people over 50 that showed a link between religious observance and feeling happier.  Ann’s slides can be downloaded here Leeds Oct 2015 for website

Discussion

 

More discussion

…and more discussion

After Mass, celebrated in the Cathedral by Bishop Marcus, and lunch provided by the SVP’s Catering Services, we heard personal testimonies about how life changed after retirement from paid work.

(left to right) Our Panel - Anne Forbes, Chair / Ann West / Nessa Nedd / Hilary Willmer / Albert Maher

(left to right) Our Panel – Anne Forbes, Chair / Ann West / Nessa Nedd / Hilary Willmer / Albert Maher

 

 

All the speakers on our panel shared with us how they had found a new, and sometimes surprising, vocation in later life and many were very generous in bearing witness to both the joys and the sorrows that had led them to their new calling and the hope they had found within this.

 

 

Sr Marion

Sr Marion

Bob Shaw

Bob Shaw

Sr Marion Charley and Canon Bob Shaw both shared their memories of Sr Vivien Bowman, who died in 2013.  Sr Vivien, a religious sister from the South Leeds community of the (international) Society of the Sacred Heart, was a key contributor to the ecumenical report ‘Called To Be Old’ produced in Leeds more than 20 years ago.  In this report, Sr Vivien expressed how “giving up a worthwhile job has been more positive than negative. I experience a new freedom to explore unknown paths, to meet new people, and I am not restricted by a 9-5 routine.”

The response from all those attending was very positive, with a number of people commenting that the event had inspired and encouraged them, offering new challenging insights into the ageing process.  Quite a few of the attendees suggested there is a need to help people discern their personal vocation in later life and that Growing Old Grace-fully might be able to support people in fulfilment of this need.  Watch this space!

 

20151016_114154_resizedIf you would like Rachel to come and talk to a Parish Group about the work of Growing Old Grace-fully, call 07702 255142, email: growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk  .

Rachel, as an Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Champion, can also offer short Dementia Friends Information Sessions to help your church in welcoming those living with dementia and their carers.

We welcome Ann Morisy to Leeds, author of best-selling books Beyond the Good Samaritan and Journeying Out.

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On Friday 16th October, 10.30am at Wheeler Hall, Cathedral Church of St Anne, Great George Street, Leeds LS2 8BE, Growing Old Grace-fully is delighted to welcome Ann Morisy to give the keynote address.

Older people give massive value to our society and to our churches in myriad ways, not least in the vast amount of time and expertise given in volunteering.  But have we really woken up to this?   How do we better value older people so that the focus is on the opportunities our ageing congregations offer, rather than the challenges?  And how do we as individuals prepare for later life?  Ann’s appearance at the “Called To Be Old” gathering will help in exploring these questions and reflecting on older people’s gifts.

Ann teaches about the need for older men and women to keep learning and contributing to the larger community. “As Baby Boomers are getting older, we are a pioneering generation entering this very long old age that people are experiencing today.” She works across the UK training communities in multi-generational dialogue. “We try to encourage churches not just to respond with pastoral care in relation to older people—but to encourage older people to think and reflect—and do their utmost—not to be a pain in later life. … If we fall prey to being a pain in later life, we can really wreck the lives of those around us—for decades.”

Borrowing from the futureAnn’s latest book, Borrowing from the Future: A Faith-Based Approach to Intergenerational Equity offers a faith-based exploration of intergenerational fairness, calling for the rights of tomorrow to be valued alongside those of today.

For more information and to book places, call Rachel on 07702 255142, email: growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk

Welcoming People with Dementia – Two events in our Diocese

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It was good to see an encouraging level of attendance at two recent events in our Diocese; events that focused on how we get alongside people with dementia and stay with them on their difficult journey.

Fr Michael

Fr Michael

The event at St Aidan’s in Baildon was organised by Growing Old Grace-fully and welcomed nearly 30 people to a gathering led by our own poet-priest, Fr Michael McCarthy.  It was uplifting to see such a diverse group of people, both religious and lay, come together to talk about how we can enable life to be enriched for those who develop dementia as well as those who care for them.  By reading excerpts from his latest book of poetry, The Healing Station, Fr Michael helped ensure the voices of people with dementia were heard so that their personhood is brought out.  Gaynor Hammond, a Baptist Minister and author of a number of excellent practical books on spirituality and dementia, led the session after lunch reflecting on what we can do to make our own parishes more dementia-friendly.

 

Ted Britton, MHA

Ted Britton, MHA

The women’s group at The Immaculate Heart of Mary in Leeds organised a wonderful day offering lots of ideas and inspiration on responding to people with dementia.  Gaynor Hammond led the first session of the day offering lots of practical suggestions to help connect individually with people living with dementia.  Ted Britton, Chaplaincy Advisor from Methodist Homes (MHA), invited us to explore the Gospel message of acceptance, love and hope for those living with dementia, and those who care for them.  We also heard presentations from the Royal Voluntary Service, Carers Leeds, MAECare and the Alzheimer’s Society to help us understand what local support is available.

 

The joys and challenges of being alongside people living with dementia are worth sharing and it was great to hear of some of resources and responses that might spark our own ideas.

If you would like to discuss how Growing Old Grace-fully might help support older people with dementia or their carers in your parish, please get in touch.  We’d love to hear from you.