Lent is the time when we engage in a period of reflection, repentance, and spiritual renewal in preparation for Easter.
Central to this observance is prayer, which serve as a means of deepening one’s connection with God, seeking forgiveness for shortcomings, and strengthening faith.
Through prayer, we seek to emulate Christ’s forty days of fasting and prayer in the desert, drawing closer to God and embracing a spirit of self-discipline and humility. Lenten prayers are an integral part of the Catholic journey during this sacred season, guiding us toward spiritual growth, transformation, and a deeper understanding of God’s love and mercy.
In this particular Lent, we share the anguish of Jesus in the desert as we view the state of the current world today, its conflicts, anger and hatred, all the antithesis of the message of Christ. We unite our challenges, our ailments and our sufferings with the torment of Jesus over the state of the Earth to help us prepare for Holy Week, the chance of forgiveness, redemption and renewal for us and humanity.
Here are three prayers for Lent. See also our Lent resources page for further reflection and prayers.
The desert waits (an invitation to Lent)
The desert waits, ready for those who come, who come obedient to the Spirit’s leading; or who are driven, because they will not come the other way.
The desert always waits, ready to let us know who we are- the place of self-discovery.
And whilst we fear and rightly, the loneliness and emptiness and harshness, we forget the angels, whom we cannot see because of our blindness, but who come when God decides. that we need their help; when we are ready for what they can give us
Amen.
Ruth Burgess from ‘Eggs and Ashes’ (1990)
The Beatitudes (inspired by Matthew 5:3-12)
Blessed are the poor… not the penniless but those whose heart is free.
Blessed are those who mourn… not those who whimper but those who raise their voices.
Blessed are the meek… not the soft but those who are patient and tolerant.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice… not those who whine but those who struggle.
Blessed are the merciful… not those who forget but those who forgive.
Blessed are the pure in heart…. not those who act like angels but those whose life is transparent.
Blessed are the peacemakers not those who shun conflict but those who face it squarely.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for justice… Not because they suffer But because they love.
Amen.
P. Jacob in ‘Bread for Tomorrow’.
Cafod Lent Prayer 2024
Loving God, when our boat is rocked on the sea of life, by poverty, illness or disaster, you quiet the waves, calm the storm, and lead us safely to shore.
When we work hard, for our daily bread, but at the end of the day go hungry, you walk alongside us, calling, “cast out your nets”, knowing there is enough for all.
When we are lost, and uncertain of how to make a change in our world, your words ring out: “Come, follow me”, guiding us to new life with you.
Lead us then, Lord, to play our part in calming the storm and sharing your gifts with each other, so that all people throughout the world may look to the future with hope.
In his message for Lent 2024, Pope Francis invites the faithful to “pause” for prayer and to assist our brothers and sisters in need, in order to change our own lives and the lives of our communities.
CAFOD have a range of Lent resources including prayers, reflections and an interactive calendar. Sign up to the calendar and receive daily Lent emails of prayer, reflection and practical actions, offering an opportunity to pause, reflect and pray as we prepare for Easter.
Independent Catholic News have published a series of resources for Lent 2024, from books, to apps, online series, email reflections and activities to choose from – listed in alphabetical order.
Many of us in our parishes in the Diocese of Leeds had an opportunity before the October Synod 2023 to discuss some of the issues facing the Catholic Church.
Our feedback was sent to the Diocese to be considered, to go forward ultimately to the Synod. So, instead of being a top- down process, it started at the grass roots around the world and responses were synthesised – all brought together – at diocesan, Bishops’ Conference and Continental levels. Our Bishop Marcus Stocks along with John Wilson, the Archbishop of Southwark, represented the Bishops’ Conference at the Synod, and a number of lay people, including Professor Anna Rowlands of Durham University, went to Rome to take part in the Synod. This inclusive approach was promising.
Preparation did not happen in some parishes, but it is not too late to become involved now and encourage others to do so. The Synod Part 2 meets in Rome in October 2024. Inevitably some ideas in October 2023 got diluted or left out during the synodal process, but I think us older people have become accustomed to knowing this is what can happen in all walks of life, and to continue to concentrate on the important things – and not to give up.
I hope that if you read through to the end of this Reflection you might find some aspects to feel engaged and optimistic about…
What relevance does this all have for us older people? I think it is important for us to be involved in this worldwide consideration of the future facing the Church for a number of reasons.
The Synod Part 2 takes place in October 2024 so there is not much time. There are a number of worthwhile issues to consider that were raised last October – to feed back to Rome in the autumn. The Synodal process has emphasised the importance of priests and people listening, speaking and working together, which is key for the future.
I know many of us acknowledge the future of the Church will be in the hands of younger generations, but we have a voice too…and hugely valuable experience to impart! Older people have years of experience in our families, parishes, charities and church organisations and encouragement to offer to younger people during this synodal process. We are the ones who have experienced the reforms of Vatican 11 in the 1960s and can see what still needs to happen.
A Summary Report of the First Session of the Synod was written, and I quote from its 41 pages below.
Discernment
It was proposed that “each local church equip itself with suitable and trained people to facilitate and accompany processes of ecclesial discernment.” (page 8.) “Among all the baptised there is a genuine equality of dignity and a common responsibility for mission, according to each person’s Vocation. By the anointing of the Spirit who “teaches all things’ (1Jn.2:27) all believers possess an instinct for the truth of the Gospel, called sensus fidei,” (page 9)…which can lead to a consensus of the faithful (consensus fidelium),” as at the Synod, “which is a sure criterion for determining whether a particular doctrine or practice belongs to the apostolic faith “(page 9.) Stated at the beginning of the Report, this potentially allows for inspired thinking at every level from lay people and clergy. It is encouraging for the future but we need to act on it now.
Throughout the Report references are made to more decision making in the future at diocesan level, rather than in Rome. Pope Francis has previously said this e.g. over pastoral decisions being permitted at diocesan level about divorced and remarried Catholics receiving Communion. It seems to me that he has continually been trying to devolve decision making during his papacy. Here it is reiterated and timely for inspired, sensitive to culture, inclusive, localised thinking. In my view we need to encourage our Bishops and people to work together on these ideas.
Women in the Church
It was stated (page 21) that “women constitute the majority of those who attend churches.” However, “clericalism, machismo and inappropriate use of authority continue to scar the face of the Church.” (page 22). There is a hint of considering inclusive language in liturgical texts (Page 23). Research on women deacons is to be continued and hopefully results presented next October. There have already been two Commissions which have not yet agreed to women deacons. (I know of many women who support women as deacons, while not wanting to clericalise the diaconate.) Women being included on theological programmes, seminary teaching and women judges in canonical trials are proposed. (page 23.) If we agree with these ideas, we can continue to voice them.
Seminary Training
Seminary Training should be more “linked to the daily life of communities,” so there was some mention of reform (page 25.) The Report says compulsory celibacy needs to be further discussed. I have been told that married priests are mentioned once, in the 41 pages of the Summary Report but I cannot find the reference.
Clerical abuse
The potential conflicting difficulty in abuse cases where a Bishop is both father and judge was raised (page 28.) However, dealing effectively, promptly and consistently with clerical abuse has to be continually tackled as it is so damaging and is a top priority to people of all denominations and faiths.
Attentive listening
Synodal working and the more transparent and active relationships between the Roman Curia, Cardinals, Bishops ” and more attentive listening to the voice of the local churches” was raised (page 29.)
Formation of all
Education for all, including lay people was mentioned and is a theme that, in my experience, is expressed all the time in meetings. How to listen to each other, especially with complex issues including painful excluding issues, was also raised.
Optics
For me, one of the most promising pointers from the Synod was that Bishops, women and men met in small groups to listen and speak in turn at round tables. This was instead of sitting in serried rows at previous Synods to listen, as spectators. There were some speakers in October, but apparently people remained at tables. This, to me, was a powerful symbol of the Synod.
So, where does this leave us older people?
A lot of preparatory work, offered to all parishes, but which included some of us, was undertaken, and the feedback we got from the first parish sessions was useful. We didn’t get feedback from our second parish sessions, I understand this was because the administration of it became overwhelming. However, feedback would have been useful for each of our parishes who took part.
Those who attended the Synod in Rome worked hard at a large number of issues. Christopher Lamb, until recently Rome Correspondent at The Tablet, described it as a consultative rather than a deliberative assembly. This might account for the numerous proposals raised, rather than decisions made. Is there time in our Diocese to come up with draft action plans for some of those proposals by next October for the Synod Part 2?
I think many of us over the years have raised the need for more adult theological and pastoral education locally and globally. There are some courses available but they are expensive, at a distance and few locally. Let us hope this situation changes soon as there are fewer Priests and Religious working in the Diocese, and an ever greater need for more lay people (paid and voluntary) working at all levels.
Mention of the role of women and the presence of around 40 women attenders with voting rights was, personally to me, very welcome. Ideas of how to include more women at all levels were not clear but is happening in some of the Departments in Rome. However, yet again the proposal for women deacons was, for the third time, deferred for more discussion. Deciding how women can be assimilated into the current clerical structures has to be worked out without adding to clericalism, but decisions need to be made soon either way. Many younger women, with this kind of calling, accustomed to equal opportunities in secular life are walking away.
The use of exclusive language about ‘men and brothers’ in liturgical readings to congregations with a majority of women, in my view, has to change now. Many of us already make inclusive language changes but this needs to be approved officially and the sign it would give would be powerful.
To conclude, for many of us these issues have been raised before. For us older people we have the life experience and some acquired confidence to encourage our parishes and priests to discuss and act on these issues. This can be done formally at diocesan level, Parish Pastoral Councils, parish meetings and in homilies. It can also be raised informally wherever we are at: after Mass at coffee, at prayer groups, with friends and people we don’t yet know around us. We have now been given the opportunity to speak and listen to each other, and to try and give some feedback to parishioners, priests and our Bishop about what we think and feel.
As we reach the end of Advent, we celebrate the joyous feast of Christmas.
It is a moment when we contemplate the mystery of the Incarnation, the divine becoming human, and the immense love of God manifest in the humblest of forms. In the midst of the festive decorations and the warmth of our gatherings, let us take a moment to turn our hearts toward prayer, seeking to deepen our understanding of the profound significance of this holy season.
As we pray during this Christmas season, let us ponder the miracle of the Nativity, where heaven touched earth in the form of a tiny child born in a humble manger. Christmas is a celebration of hope, peace, and love, encapsulated in the gift of God’s Son to humanity.
At this challenging time in human history and facing the challenges of our own lives, we celebrate that the darkness is pierced with the greatest light to shine for all humanity. The words of the angel to the shepherds echo through time, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10).
In our prayers, let us express gratitude for the light that Jesus brought into the world—a light that dispels darkness and offers us the path to eternal life. May we find inspiration in the Holy Family, reflecting on the obedience of Mary, the courage of Joseph, and the vulnerability of the newborn King. As we exchange Christmas greetings, perhaps give and receive gifts and share meals with loved ones, let our prayers extend to those who are lonely, marginalised, or suffering, echoing the compassionate spirit of Christ.
This Christmas, may our hearts be filled with the true meaning of the season, and may our prayers unite us in a sense of shared joy and purpose. Let us open our hearts to receive the abundant blessings that flow from the manger in Bethlehem, embracing the transformative power of God’s love and mercy. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we offer these prayers, entrusting ourselves to the grace of the Christ Child born on this holy night.
Growing Old Grace-fully, Christmas 2023
Here are three Christmas prayers:
God of Joy
Remind me to rejoice Wrapped up in my Christmas gifts Tied down in my debts I have forgotten
God of peace, Remind me of your calm In my anxiety And in my haste I have forgotten
God of all Remind me Of the true light of Christmas Of your gift shared
In my own wants And in my own needs I have forgotten Wrapped up in my little world Remind me of your world God of joy, remind me To rejoice
Amen.
Linda Jones/CAFOD
Unadorned King
In the star we see the cross; Its points, the thorns, The azure ring, his robe. The light which shines on all The arms which embrace all.
And this despite their mockery, Mock majesty, pageant pantomime and pomp. All human conceptions of kingship Border on the Vaudeville Verge on the burlesque.
Kings in a stable out of proportion Distorted, like the body on the cross. Our attempt to nail down Divinity Racked and disjointed, Still suffering our mock homage.
Cast crowns, cast lots, cast off your Tawdry kind of kingship – So much dressing up – Christ rides triumphant over cast-down cloaks Every inch a king with none of the apparel.
His crown, the star The cross, his throne where he Invests the cosmos with his gift of Love, unadorned.
Amen.
Sr Laurentia Johns OSB, Stanbrook Abbey
The Hope of Christmas
The hope of Christmas God, our dayspring and our dawn, We turn to you when we fear the dark And all around us weep. We pray you greet us with your shining light That we may spread your warm embrace And kindle the hope of Christmas In all whose lives remain in shadow. Come and be our strength O Lord, our hope and our salvation.
I am writing as we begin the next four weeks of Advent preparing for the gift of God’s son to the world, to announce that our our period of waiting for a new worker for Growing Old Grace-fully is over!
I am very pleased with funding support from the Diocese, the Day for Life fund of the Bishop’s Conference and Holy Child Sisters, we have engaged a freelance worker to support our work.
Welcome to Greg Mulholland who will be working with us part-time for the next year.
Greg is an experienced communications professional and will build on the excellent work of our previous freelance workers, in taking forward the work of Growing Old Grace-fully and delivering our vision and mission.
We have a clear brief to organise Zoom meetings to support parishes to be more Later Life friendly, as well as working with two parishes more intensely to support them in their work with older people. This is of course on top of our communications to our subscribers and supporters.
Greg says, “I’m delighted to be working with Growing Old Grace-fully, to deliver its important vision and mission in our Diocese and I look forward to working with the Board, volunteers and parishes to help older people across the Catholic Diocese of Leeds experience spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing in positive and inclusive parish communities”.
We are looking for parishes to work with us on this in the next year. Do please contact us at growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk if your parish is interested in taking part in this.
This December mailing includes an Advent reflection from a member of our board of trustees, Pippa Bonner and some suggestions for prayers which you may want to use yourself or share with other parishioners
With blessings for Advent,
Best wishes,
Carol Burns and trustees of Growing Old Gracefully
Please join us as we celebrate the launch of a remarkable book “Journeying Together” that sheds light on the experiences of caregivers for individuals with dementia. Written by Growing Old Grace-fully trustee Deacon Joe Cortis, in collaboration with Pia Matthews, this poignant work gives voice to those who tirelessly care for their loved ones. The book will be officially launched in Leeds on Tuesday, June 27th, at 1:30 pm. To download the poster with further details please click the link below.
God of hope, we cling to you, for your renew the face of the earth.
Through the gift of your Son, our Lord Jesus, we follow you on the path of dawn.
Enlightened by your love and wisdom, help us to lead each other and all creatures back to your open arms. Amen.
Rachel McCarthy/CAFOD
Adventus
With expectant waiting we anticipate your coming. Come close to us, Lord, come very close.
Come, Alpha and Omega, who is from before the ages. Come, Son of Joseph and Son of Mary, who went down to Nazareth to be obedient to them.
Come, Morning Star, who named the stars. Come, carpenter from Nazareth, who knows the smell of planed wood.
Come, Beloved Son of God, who knows the heart of God. Come, Son of Man, who knows the hearts of God’s people.
Come, Lord of Life and Prince of Peace. Come, Dayspring and Rising Sun. Come, Wonderful Counsellor. Come Emmanuel, God with us; God very close to us.
Amen.
Ged Johnson/CAFOD
Litany of Advent litany: Lord, we look to you of Nazareth
Compassionate God,
As we look to you for judgement, hold out your hand of compassion that we may be chastened by your show of mercy and reach out to others in reconciliation.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we contemplate our end, make us mindful of your promise of a new beginning that we may share your promise of life and bring hope to those who sit in darkness.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we remember Elizabeth in her barrenness, fill us with longing for the birth of a new creation that we too may be surprised with joy and labour with those who seek to make all things new.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As John leapt in his mother’s womb, help us so to recognise Christ in friend and stranger that we may respond in love and learn to serve our neighbour with generosity not judgement.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary and Elizabeth sought each other, grant us the wisdom to recognise our needs that we too may seek each other in solidarity and offer strength to the powerless.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary proclaimed the salvation of the Lord, give us courage to stand alongside the downtrodden that we may sing of their hopes and join hands to realise their dreams.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope and whom we long to see.
Annabel Shilson-Thomas/CAFOD
Litany of Mary of Nazareth
Glory to you, God of our Creator … Breath into us new life, new meaning. Glory to you, God our Savior … Lead us in the way of peace and justice. Glory to you, God, healing Spirit … Transform us to empower others.
Mary, wellspring of peace ………. Be our guide, Model of strength Model of gentleness Model of trust Model of courage Model of patience Model of risk Model of openness Model of perseverance
Mother of the liberator ………. Pray for us. Mother of the homeless Mother of the dying Mother of the nonviolent Widowed mother Unwed mother Mother of political prisoner Mother of the condemned Mother of an executed criminal
Oppressed woman ………. Lead us to life. Liberator of the oppressed Marginalized woman Comforter of the afflicted Cause of our joy Sign of contradiction Breaker of bondage Political refugee Seeker of sanctuary First disciple Sharer in Christ’s ministry Participant in Christ’s passion Seeker of God’s will Witness to Christ’s resurrection
Woman of mercy ………. Empower us. Woman of faith Woman of contemplation Woman of vision Woman of wisdom and understanding Woman of grace and truth Woman, pregnant with hope Woman, centered in God
Mary, Queen of Peace, we entrust our lives to you. Shelter us from war, hatred and oppression. Teach us to live in peace, to educate ourselves for peace. Inspire us to act justly, to revere all God has made. Root peace firmly in our hearts and in our world. Amen.
From: The Fire of Peace: A Prayer Book Compiled and edited by Mary Lou Kownacki, OSB Pax Christi USA
Reading: God’s Call to Mary by Joan Chittister
To entitle the call of God to Mary the ‘annunciation’ is, at best, misleading. Somehow or another,‘annunciation’ just doesn’t say it. ‘Cataclysm’, perhaps. ‘Prophecy,’ maybe. But ‘Annunciation. Never. This, after all was no routine summons. This was an earth shattering, life-changing, revolutionary call. This was what happens when life is completely turned around, when the house burns down or the job disappears, or the stock market crashes. This was the kind of moment that called for that same kind of strength and faith and character. And Mary, the woman, though ‘deeply disturbed’ had more than enough of it all. She felt the truth of who she was within her. More than that, she felt the truth of who God is. Mary knew that God’s favour was indeed with her and that was enough to lead her on. It doesn’t hurt to remember, at times in which extraordinary witness, extraordinary faith, extraordinary commitment are required of us, that God’s favour is there with us too, to sustain the stress of bringing justice and love to birth and turning the world around – when neither the neighbourhood nor the nation want that to happen.
This year the season of Advent is as long as it possibly can be with the first Sunday of Advent starting on November 27th. Now in the second week of Advent, we continue to prepare for the appearance of Jesus as a tiny baby born in very challenging circumstances. His mother gave birth away from her home town, far from her home and familiar surroundings. Some of her family may have still felt ambivalent about the nature of Mary’s pregnancy. Has Joseph begun to understand it? The Messiah is born in very humble circumstances, soon to become a Refugee.
This year we remember all those born and living in challenging circumstances, born in areas of conflict, like the Holy Land today. This year war is raging in Ukraine, and conflicts around the world are shown daily on our televisions. We remember all who are refugees who are escaping conflict and persecution.
We pray that the hope and joy of Christmas will also be experienced in these difficult times.
Advent is a time of acknowledging paradox. A time of hope and celebration amidst personal and world difficulty, bereavement, illness and loss.
At Growing Old Grace-fully we celebrate the role, gifts and experience of older people. Joseph is traditionally described as an older man. Mary and Jesus must have benefited from his life experience. The Shepherds and Magi may have been mixed age groups: older Shepherds guiding and overseeing the younger ones. It is likely the Magi had a lifetime of study and experience. We know that the Holy Family travelled to Jerusalem to present Jesus in the Temple. They were met by the elderly Simeon and Anna who had been awaiting the Messiah. Let us celebrate them all!
We remember all older people, locally and around the world. Some who are among family and friends, and others who are alone, those fearing food and heating prices, and all who are juggling the blessings and difficulties of older age. Many of us are dealing with the push and pull of life: happy and sad memories of experience and life itself. And if we believe we no longer have a place or sense of agency in life these words of Pope Francis might be encouraging:
“Of one thing I am certain – every human being reveals something of God …a spark of divine light shines from each one of us…every human being has been taken up into the heart of God, conferring on them an infinite divinity.”
The coming of Christ is the joyful, welcoming of the Messiah. And we also know that the incarnate Christ dies and is resurrected for us. My eight year old granddaughter has expressed this paradox (unprompted by me), in her home made Christmas card to me this year. Inside a cheery, snowy, animal card she has drawn a crucified Christ with the heading ” Jesus dies for our sins. ” Behind the cross is Father Christmas and his reindeer and sleigh, and happy Christmas wishes and love from her to me. She has captured the joy and sadness we experience during this season of the Church year.
However, Advent culminates with Christmas. We live with the hope and happiness of Christmas. May you all feel the hope and blessings of Christmas!
Here is part of Joyce Rupp’s “A Christmas Blessing.”
May you give and receive love generously. May this love echo in your heart like the joy of church bells on a clear December day….
May the hope of this sacred season settle in your soul. May it be a foundation of courage for you when times of distress occupy your inner land….
May you daily open the gift of your life and be grateful for the hidden treasures it contains…
May you keep your eye on the Star within you and trust this Luminescent Presence to guide and direct you each day….
May you go often to the Bethlehem of your heart and visit the One who offers you peace. May you bring this peace into our world.”
May you all feel the hope and happiness of Christmas and a blessed New Year!
With many people living longer and the current demographic of our churches, you are probably finding that the needs of older people in your parish are increasing.
Many parishioners go out of their way to help others as much as they can, and SVP and other groups are an essential support to many older people. These informal and formal networks of love and inclusion work well in many situations. However, with the increased need, the effects of the pandemic, and the fact that some of those volunteering are themselves feeling vulnerable, resources are stretched and some older people are at risk of slipping through the net or becoming disconnected.
Walking with Older People in their Journey through Later Life
In response to this need, Growing Old Grace-fully approached funders with an idea for a Pastoral Worker/Lay Chaplain for Older People role, to see if it could be trialled in some parishes in the Diocese of Leeds.
The Ladies of the Grail caught the vision for this demonstration project and generously awarded some seed funding to be used in our Diocese.
What would a Pastoral Worker/Lay Chaplain do?
In partnership with the Parish Priest and Eucharistic Ministers, and working closely with relevant parish groups such as the SVP, a Lay Chaplain’s role would be to be an important point of contact for older people in the parish (as well as their families and carers) particularly in terms of their spiritual and emotional life, but with a whole-life approach.
They would use a person-centred listening approach with warmth, compassion, humour and mutual respect, enabling older people to:
be strengthened on their journey
be more connected and included in parish life
have their contributions valued
access support for practical needs.
We have seed funding to help 2 parishes set up and test this model with someone fulfilling this role a few hours a week.
We are now seeking expressions of interest from parishes in the Diocese and have recently sent information about this to all priests through the Ad Clerum.
If you are interested in this idea and feel your parish could benefit from this scheme, we would encourage you to speak with your priest and others in the parish to explore the possibilities, and then contact us (see below).
If you have any queries, please do contact our Development Officer Rhoda Wu on growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk, she will be happy to help.
As well as being involved in each of our parishes, the trustees of Growing Old Grace-fully wanted to highlight the voice and needs of older people in this listening process.
A group of the board members got together and drew up a response on the relevant topics in the framework, this is what we submitted:
Growing Old Grace-fully – response to the Synod listening exercise in the Diocese of Leeds
Growing Old Grace-fully is an independent charity based in the Diocese of Leeds and have been working in the diocese for over 10 years.
Our aim is to:
To enhance the spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeingof older people across the Catholic Diocese of Leedsthrough raising awareness, inspiring and supportingresponsive action in parishes.
We are making a separate submission based on our substantial experience of listening to older people in our parishes.
Introduction: The term ‘older people’ covers a very wide age range and several life stages: in our society, younger older people (60+) may enjoy (depending on their life chances) 20 years or so of active life with good health, when they will volunteer in their community including the parish, provide childcare for grandchildren and may be supporting older relatives and friends, at the same time. For many, this will be followed by a period of declining health when support from family or agencies is needed before death.
Longer life is a great blessing for individuals and families and for wider society but the later stages of life present challenges to the individual, to those who love them and to wider society, as health declines and the need for support and care increases. Life expectancy is increasing in most countries in the world and different issues arise depending on the relative proportions in the population of younger and older people.
Longer life expectancy – a sign of our time – needs to be pondered to discern what God is saying to us and how we should respond. A theme of Growing Old Grace-fully’s work is the vocation of later life: ‘Called to be Old’.
(Another feature of our time is the decrease in the number of priests and religious in the local church, many of whom are themselves older people. How can we ensure that they continue to be included, supported and able to contribute their wisdom and experience?)
Who are our journey companions and who is marginalised?
Older people often have a wide network of friends in the parish whom they have known over many years and take for granted that these people are their companions in life and in faith. There may not be explicit faith sharing unless people belong to a group which prays, reflects and acts together but there is an implicit bond.
As friends die and perhaps the composition of the parish changes, older people are likely to feel more isolated. If they become housebound, they are likely to lack companions on their faith journey especially if their family members have lost connection with Church.
If people go into a care home, they may become completely cut off from their worshipping community and from the support of the sacraments.
We need (formal and informal) ways to follow up people who ‘disappear’ to find out if they wish to stay in touch with the parish and what support they would like. Quaker meetings appoint members to roles of responsibility – overseers – for a given term: 2 periods of 3 years. Their ‘task is building a community in which all members find acceptance, loving care and opportunities for service.’ Other denominations have ‘pastoral stewards’ and of course often in parishes the SVP can play this role.
We have developed a specific model to formally ensure a more systematic approach to ensuring that our older people are still included in parish life.
A Lay Chaplaincy for Older People in parishes and/or deaneries would fulfill this role. The chaplain will be there to provide a listening presence, companionship, and one-to-one pastoral support for older people in a parish. Their person-centred approach will help them deliver support with warmth, compassion, humour, mutual respect, strength, and hope, aiming to inspire and provide stimulation. More specifically, working closely with relevant parish groups such as the SVP and supported by the Parish Priest, the Lay Chaplain’s role will be to help get to know older people in the parish and particularly those who have mobility issues or other conditions that make them at risk of being isolated. The Chaplain will be the first port of call for ministering to older people in the parish, particularly at times when sustained spiritual support is most needed. They will be able to inform the priest when and if sacramental care is needed. If appropriate and possible, the Chaplain will aim to build a group of volunteers to help to support the work. (we have a small amount of funding to pilot this model).
Listening and speaking out, how might the RC church listen to lay people, women and minorities and those who are not respected?
This question is framed in a way that reveals an underlying assumption that lay folk are not ‘church’. We believe that ‘we’ are the Church.
Housebound older people and those in care homes are a marginalised group without a voice. Older people have expressed concern that church concentrates on young people and ignores the needs of older members.
In 2018 we asked some of our supporters about their experience of parish life, this reinforced our concern that there is too much reliance on informal connections and that older and other vulnerable people slip through the net and become marginalised.
They also said that church stands out as a place where generations mix at Mass, but there’s less evidence of more structured opportunities for support/learning.
Programmes addressing the spirituality of ageing or taking ageing seriously are not available.
There are not enough structured programmes to help support people in bereavement, or anything specific that helps people cope with the varied losses that can come with long life.
Listening and speaking out are interdependent: people speak out when they are listened to; otherwise they won’t bother. Intergenerational structures are needed through which people can express their needs, share their insights, listen to the experience of others, and discern how they can contribute and work together for the common good of church and world. (see later response)
Older people have a wisdom, experience and skills that they can share, whether developed from their working life or through being part of the parish community. We hope that their experience of listening, dialogue, creating and celebrating liturgies, experiencing lay leadership and years of co-responsibility in different ways in their parishes and dioceses, and navigating change in the past will be valued as we journey through the synod process.
Celebrating
The closure of churches in the early part of the pandemic opened opportunities for us to experience liturgies celebrated across the world as well as locally, provided that we are digitally enabled. Some older people who have participated in on-line liturgies would like them to continue; this would be a boon for housebound people as well as those who still do not feel confident about returning to a crowded church.
However, we recognise that most people want to be part of a community that is physically present to each other, for the social interaction as well as celebrating Mass together.
We also need to be aware that some older people are not digitally confident and may feel excluded by too much reliance on online participation
(Some) Older people have also expressed a wish for occasional community celebrations of the Sacrament of the Sick and Reconciliation.
Co-responsibility in mission
The experience of Growing Old Gracefully is that as well as those older people who need additional support, many older people are active in their parishes, taking on a range of tasks and running parish groups. They and others may also be active in and/or leading local action: supporting asylum seekers and refugees, homeless people, food banks, isolated older people, looking after vulnerable neighbours, contributing their time, energy and skills (and money) to charities caring for the vulnerable and to campaigns for justice such as development in the global South, combating the climate crisis and many other good causes. They may see these actions as being part of being good citizens; they may know that their involvement springs from their faith and love of neighbour and is part of the Church’s mission. This involvement needs to be recognised and affirmed.
Dialogue between the generations
Pope Francis’ message for World Peace Day 2022, outlined three paths for building lasting peace. One was the “dialogue between generations as the basis for the realisation of shared projects.”
He noted dialogue demands trust between people who need to listen to one another, share different views, reach agreement and walk together. This he says is especially important between generations: “between the keepers of memory – the elderly – and those who move history forward – the young.”
The Pope’s words can apply to international, national and local groups. Within dioceses and parishes who are rebuilding activity after periods of Covid lockdown, different generations are working and praying together, listening to each other and moving forward together. Inter-generational working is key for our religious organisations and churches as we journey through Covid, towards the Synod and beyond.
Some examples of intergenerational dialogue include
the older person mentoring younger people in ways of serving their parish. The list can be endless but includes parish ministries, liturgy, prayer groups, and other parish groups and activities. Many older people have experience of lay leadership and co-responsibility with the clergy and are often willing to encourage others to gain confidence and experience as “they pass on the baton.”.
One older parishioner has become friendly with a mother who has spirited young children. She affirms the mother, sits with the family at Mass and helps the mother take them up for a Blessing at Communion. She also lights up the room at parish coffee time. This example will be replicated elsewhere.
Some older people are prayer sponsors, take an interest in younger people and model strength, determination, and humour.
Other older parishioners accept help from younger people, accept lifts home and older people also offer lifts to those younger than themselves! At a parish exhibition of photos and reminiscences from past wars older people participated with reminiscences from previous generations about war experiences and helped younger people to hear about the effects of war on local people.
This contribution is based on our work of listening and responding as older people with other older people in the diocese over the last 10 years and we hope that it highlights the gifts that older people bring to the Church and to the needs of the most marginalised.
If you would like to discuss how Growing Old Grace-fully might help support older people in your parish then please visit our contact page here and get in touch.
