Growing Old Grace-fully‘s 5th online event of 2024 is Spiritually Accompanying People Living With Dementia on Tuesday 22nd October, 7:00-8:00pm. This is part of the series of online events How to be more Later Life Friendly in our parishes.
The Zoom event, looking at the theological significance of dementia, is led by Rev. Dr. Joseph Cortis, co-author of Journeying Together: accompanying people living with dementia. Deacon Joe has a background in adult and mental health nursing which includes a long period as an educational manager, academic and senior lecturer at the University of Leeds. He is a Trustee of Growing Old Grace-fully.
Whether you are a spouse, family member, friend or caregiver, this event is designed to explore ways to provide spiritual support to individuals living with dementia as well as our own spiritual journey with them as a loved one.
The session will include prayers and reflections, as well as ideas as to accompany and support someone living with dementia from a spiritual perspective.
To attend, reserve a free ticket on Eventbrite here.
A Zoom link will be circulated to all ticket holders in advance of the event.
For those who would like to read it, the book, by Rev. Dr. Joe Cortis & Dr. Pia Matthews can be ordered here.
Silver Sunday is a national day in the UK celebrating older people, organised by held Age UK. It is held on the first Sunday in October and this year it will be Sunday 6th October. In the UK, it is also national Grandparents’ Day on the first Sunday in October, so a double celebration related to later life and older people and the contribution they make to society.
As part of the Silver Sunday celebrations, organisations put on special events that welcome older people – particularly those who may be lonely or isolated. Age UK lists official events on its website here.
Growing Old Grace-fully supports Silver Sunday (and Grandparents’ Day) and sees the first Sunday in October as an important opportunity to celebrate later life and to do so in our parishes and communities.
Silver Sunday and Grandparents’ Day gives every parish the opportunity to dedicate a Mass or Masses to older people, to include something in the parish bulletin and to perhaps include a bidding prayer. Some parishes organise events after Mass or in the afternoon. Grandchildren could also be invited to attend Mass with their grandparents.
Do speak to your parish priest about doing something to commemorate Silver Sunday and UK Grandparents’ Day.
Here is a prayer for Silver Sunday and Grandparents’ Day:
Prayer for Silver Sunday and UK Grandparents’ Day
Heavenly Father,
On this special day, as we celebrate Silver Sunday and Grandparents’ Day, we ask your blessings upon all older members of our parish, our community and our society. We thank you for the blessing of later life and for all the wisdom, knowledge and love given and received.
On a day to celebrate all older people and later life, we pray that we and all of our community and wider society will continue to honour and cherish older people and to celebrate their hugely important contribution over many years to family life, the Church, their local community, society and the wider world.
We also pray for organisations like Age UK, the organisers of Silver Sunday and thank them for the opportunity to celebrate older people in the UK and their huge importance to our nation and our society. We also pray for all Age UK volunteers and all volunteers of all charities, pressure groups and third sector organisations focused on older people and later life, many of whom are older people themselves.
On UK Grandparents’ Day, bless all grandparents who have shaped our families with their faith, patience, and care. May they continue to be a source of strength, love, and wisdom for generations to come.
We pray for those who feel lonely, isolated or forgotten in later life. Lord, fill their hearts with peace and remind them of their great dignity and value. Open the hearts of people of all ages to seek to include, engage and cherish older people in their parishes and their communities, including those who don’t have regular contact with families and friends.
Through the intercession of St Anthony of Padua, Patron Saint of Older People, St. Jeanne Jurgan, a patron saint of older people and older destitute people, and Saints Joachim and Anne, the grandparents of Jesus, we ask for your blessings and grace upon all older people, today and always.
We ask this in the name of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Gracefully is written by Sister Kate Holmstrom, a Holy Child Sister, resident at a care home in Harrogate, who has just turned 85 years old.
Sister Kate has contributed a number of pieces to Growing Old Grace-fully.
Sister Kate introduces Gracefully as follows:
“Many sights, gestures or even sounds may be perceived as graceful. They resonate, perhaps, with an inner grace inhabiting a person – an open, positive attitude attuned to what is good, true, righteous, beautiful. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they are ready to welcome countless riches and enjoy life!”
Gracefully
Growing old gracefully. With grace. Ageing: a grace. Graceful rhymes with grateful, And gracefully sounds like: graciously. Little girls dancing, gymnasts leaping and bounding, Flying, seemingly without effort, defying gravity. Why do graceful movements, or the clear song of a blackbird Strike an almost physical chord of beauty within us? A smile is a grace, irradiating a tired face And gracing the recipient.
How is it that an ageing body can seem clumsy, ungainly Even painful, to the one who inhabits it? Yet the soul within can be stirring, growing, soaring forward Borne up by the Spirit, the very breath of her Creator. Hail Mary, full of grace, pray for us as we are now, In this moment, (this Moment) That the hour of our death may be grace-filled, That final, gracious grace.
This is the reflection, written by Pippa Bonner, from the Growing Old Grace-fully online session Reconciling With Our Paston Wednesday 12th June 2024, which led by Pippa Bonner and Cath Mahoney.
Pippa Bonner is a parishioner at St Aelred’s, Harrogate, a widow, mother and grandmother, with a background in social work, then running a hospice bereavement service and currently working in pastoral care with older people. Pippa is also a Trustee of Growing Old Grace-fully.
This is a one page summary, produced by Paula Shanks, of the Growing Old Grace-fully online session Spirituality in Later Life: Praying Beyond Words, which was on Tuesday 14th May, 7:00-8:00pm with Fr Donal Lucey and Paula Shanks. Paula has a background in teaching and is trained in Ignatian spiritual accompaniment.
Risen Christ, when darkness overwhelms us may your dawn beckon.
When fear paralyses us may your touch release us.
When grief torments us may your peace enfold us.
When memories haunt us may your presence heal us.
When justice fails us may your anger ignite us.
When apathy stagnates us may your challenge renew us.
When courage leaves us may your spirit inspire us.
When despair grips us may your hope restore us.
And when death threatens us may your resurrection light lead us.
Amen.
Annabel Shilson-Thomas/CAFOD
You Are the Resurrection
How wonderful, Lord Jesus, you came back You suffered death but conquered it You laid in the tomb but on the third day You rose again O joyful day, Lord Jesus, when you returned You are the resurrection, our hope and our life O glorious and victorious Redeemer
Help us not to be afraid of death For we must pass through it to see you face to face And on the last day we will rise again For you said so Let us rejoice and praise you Our Blessed and triumphant Lord On this happy, joyful feast.
As we reach the end of Advent, we celebrate the joyous feast of Christmas.
It is a moment when we contemplate the mystery of the Incarnation, the divine becoming human, and the immense love of God manifest in the humblest of forms. In the midst of the festive decorations and the warmth of our gatherings, let us take a moment to turn our hearts toward prayer, seeking to deepen our understanding of the profound significance of this holy season.
As we pray during this Christmas season, let us ponder the miracle of the Nativity, where heaven touched earth in the form of a tiny child born in a humble manger. Christmas is a celebration of hope, peace, and love, encapsulated in the gift of God’s Son to humanity.
At this challenging time in human history and facing the challenges of our own lives, we celebrate that the darkness is pierced with the greatest light to shine for all humanity. The words of the angel to the shepherds echo through time, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10).
In our prayers, let us express gratitude for the light that Jesus brought into the world—a light that dispels darkness and offers us the path to eternal life. May we find inspiration in the Holy Family, reflecting on the obedience of Mary, the courage of Joseph, and the vulnerability of the newborn King. As we exchange Christmas greetings, perhaps give and receive gifts and share meals with loved ones, let our prayers extend to those who are lonely, marginalised, or suffering, echoing the compassionate spirit of Christ.
This Christmas, may our hearts be filled with the true meaning of the season, and may our prayers unite us in a sense of shared joy and purpose. Let us open our hearts to receive the abundant blessings that flow from the manger in Bethlehem, embracing the transformative power of God’s love and mercy. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we offer these prayers, entrusting ourselves to the grace of the Christ Child born on this holy night.
Growing Old Grace-fully, Christmas 2023
Here are three Christmas prayers:
God of Joy
Remind me to rejoice Wrapped up in my Christmas gifts Tied down in my debts I have forgotten
God of peace, Remind me of your calm In my anxiety And in my haste I have forgotten
God of all Remind me Of the true light of Christmas Of your gift shared
In my own wants And in my own needs I have forgotten Wrapped up in my little world Remind me of your world God of joy, remind me To rejoice
Amen.
Linda Jones/CAFOD
Unadorned King
In the star we see the cross; Its points, the thorns, The azure ring, his robe. The light which shines on all The arms which embrace all.
And this despite their mockery, Mock majesty, pageant pantomime and pomp. All human conceptions of kingship Border on the Vaudeville Verge on the burlesque.
Kings in a stable out of proportion Distorted, like the body on the cross. Our attempt to nail down Divinity Racked and disjointed, Still suffering our mock homage.
Cast crowns, cast lots, cast off your Tawdry kind of kingship – So much dressing up – Christ rides triumphant over cast-down cloaks Every inch a king with none of the apparel.
His crown, the star The cross, his throne where he Invests the cosmos with his gift of Love, unadorned.
Amen.
Sr Laurentia Johns OSB, Stanbrook Abbey
The Hope of Christmas
The hope of Christmas God, our dayspring and our dawn, We turn to you when we fear the dark And all around us weep. We pray you greet us with your shining light That we may spread your warm embrace And kindle the hope of Christmas In all whose lives remain in shadow. Come and be our strength O Lord, our hope and our salvation.
Advent, a season of anticipation and preparation, invites us to pause, reflect, and open our hearts to the profound mystery of Christ’s coming at Christmas.
In this special time, we find solace in the promise of hope, the light that pierces through the darkness, illuminating our path towards spiritual renewal and transformation.
At this difficult and distressing time in history, with so much conflict, we pray with the hope of Christ for peace and for justice as we reflect on the true message of Jesus’ birth in an dirty, drafty stable, far from home and material comforts.
As we are surrounded by commercial messages and the fake Christmas of the commercial world, we instead recall and reflect on the difficult, stressful and exhausting journey made by Mary and Joseph as we prepare for true Christmas.
As another year draws to an end, we also reflect on our own lives, our successes and failures, joys and sorrows, challenges and blessings and unite them all with this journey towards the first Christmas, towards hope, joy and the light of Christ.
Here are three Advent prayers to use during December as we prepare, reflect and above all, hope.
Adventus
With expectant waiting we anticipate your coming. Come close to us, Lord, come very close.
Come, Alpha and Omega, who is from before the ages. Come, Son of Joseph and Son of Mary, who went down to Nazareth to be obedient to them.
Come, Morning Star, who named the stars.
Come, carpenter from Nazareth, who knows the smell of planed wood.
Come, Beloved Son of God, who knows the heart of God.
Come, Son of Man, who knows the hearts of God’s people.
Come, Lord of Life and Prince of Peace. Come, Dayspring and Rising Sun. Come, Wonderful Counsellor. Come Emmanuel, God with us; God very close to us.
Amen
Ged Johnson/CAFOD
Advent litany: Lord, we look to you
Compassionate God,
As we look to you for judgement, hold out your hand of compassion that we may be chastened by your show of mercy and reach out to others in reconciliation.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we contemplate our end, make us mindful of your promise of a new beginning that we may share your promise of life and bring hope to those who sit in darkness.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we remember Elizabeth in her barrenness, fill us with longing for the birth of a new creation that we too may be surprised with joy and labour with those who seek to make all things new.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As John leapt in his mother’s womb, help us so to recognise Christ in friend and stranger that we may respond in love and learn to serve our neighbour with generosity not judgement.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary and Elizabeth sought each other, grant us the wisdom to recognise our needs that we too may seek each other in solidarity and offer strength to the powerless.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary proclaimed the salvation of the Lord, give us courage to stand alongside the downtrodden that we may sing of their hopes and join hands to realise their dreams.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope and whom we long to see.
Annabel Shilson-Thomas/CAFOD
God of hope
God of hope, we cling to you, for your renew the face of the earth. Through the gift of your Son, our Lord Jesus, we follow you on the path of dawn. Enlightened by your love and wisdom, help us to lead each other and all creatures back to your open arms. Amen.
When I was a child I was on the verge of tears when I sang the words of the carol “In the Bleak Midwinter” written by Christina G Rossetti (1830-1864.) (1)
“In the bleak midwinter frosty wind made moan, earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;”
It sounded bleak, hard and cold. I lived in Scotland where I could understand that ”snow had fallen, snow on snow”…. I realised that a Bethlehem birth might be cold and hard, but perhaps little snow. I knew the point was that the Son of God was born in very humble, challenging, drafty circumstances away from family and community. As I grew older, I appreciated more the challenge that Mary and Joseph faced travelling for some uncomfortable days in late pregnancy, on the orders of an occupying regime to register their names. It may be on that journey Mary did not have the understanding and support of some of her extended family. They found it difficult to find accommodation as many others had also travelled to register. The unexpected, miraculous pregnancy perhaps was not accepted by some in the couple’s families. Joseph likely saved Mary’s life from stoning, a punishment for supposed infidelity and pregnancy outside of a betrothal or marriage. Her reputation, and his, may have taken longer to be restored.
We know too that they became refugees when Jesus was still very young. It must have been traumatic in a regional massacre to hide their child and make a perilous journey to Egypt.
As I write, Palestinian refugees are making a treacherous journey amidst bombs and gunfire: women, some pregnant, men, many older people, children, newborn babies are riding on carts and are walking to South Gaza adjoining the Egyptian border. Many Jews support the Palestinians but the fighting between Israeli soldiers and Hamas has brought death, injury, homelessness and fear. The modern refugees are taking a dangerous journey. Did Mary and Joseph find food, water and shelter along the way? Did they have to hide? How long did they have to stay before travelling back to their homeland to Nazareth? Were they welcomed or not when they got to Egypt? Many modern-day refugees encounter danger, hostility, rejection, and a great sense of trauma and loss about what they have left behind.
The amazing belief we have in preparing for Advent is the Incarnation, the birth of the Messiah, the great hope enfleshed…
Advent is a time of preparation and above all a time of hope! As an older woman, every year I appreciate more that Advent is a time of hope. Amidst war in the Middle East and Ukraine and around the world the Saviour, a Sign of Hope and Peace is born.
Christina Rossetti’s poem finishes:
” What can I give him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb; if I were a wise man I would do my part; yet what can I give him – give my heart.”
As an older woman this last verse still moves me. Whatever our situation: enough money to pay our bills or not; working or retired; living with others or alone; bereaved; with plans for a way forward or not; security, directly affected by war, trauma, grief or poverty or watching it on T.V., we all have ups and downs. During Advent we bring to God ourselves, our spiritual gifts, our time, our life experience… and our hearts. Christmas brings hope. There are hymns, prayers, online Advent Resources from the Jesuits, Franciscans and others, parish and diocesan events and numerous ways in which we can prepare for Christ’s birth, whether individually or communally.
Christ brings Challenge AND Hope.
May you have a Blessed Advent and a Happy, Blessed Christmas!
Pippa Bonner, December 2023
(1) In the Bleak Midwinter by Christina Rossetti.
(Published by many including Decani Music, Suffolk 1999. No copyright holder given. Laudate Hymnal number 144.)
God of hope, we cling to you, for your renew the face of the earth.
Through the gift of your Son, our Lord Jesus, we follow you on the path of dawn.
Enlightened by your love and wisdom, help us to lead each other and all creatures back to your open arms. Amen.
Rachel McCarthy/CAFOD
Adventus
With expectant waiting we anticipate your coming. Come close to us, Lord, come very close.
Come, Alpha and Omega, who is from before the ages. Come, Son of Joseph and Son of Mary, who went down to Nazareth to be obedient to them.
Come, Morning Star, who named the stars. Come, carpenter from Nazareth, who knows the smell of planed wood.
Come, Beloved Son of God, who knows the heart of God. Come, Son of Man, who knows the hearts of God’s people.
Come, Lord of Life and Prince of Peace. Come, Dayspring and Rising Sun. Come, Wonderful Counsellor. Come Emmanuel, God with us; God very close to us.
Amen.
Ged Johnson/CAFOD
Litany of Advent litany: Lord, we look to you of Nazareth
Compassionate God,
As we look to you for judgement, hold out your hand of compassion that we may be chastened by your show of mercy and reach out to others in reconciliation.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we contemplate our end, make us mindful of your promise of a new beginning that we may share your promise of life and bring hope to those who sit in darkness.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As we remember Elizabeth in her barrenness, fill us with longing for the birth of a new creation that we too may be surprised with joy and labour with those who seek to make all things new.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As John leapt in his mother’s womb, help us so to recognise Christ in friend and stranger that we may respond in love and learn to serve our neighbour with generosity not judgement.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary and Elizabeth sought each other, grant us the wisdom to recognise our needs that we too may seek each other in solidarity and offer strength to the powerless.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope
As Mary proclaimed the salvation of the Lord, give us courage to stand alongside the downtrodden that we may sing of their hopes and join hands to realise their dreams.
Lord, we look to you in whom we hope and whom we long to see.
Annabel Shilson-Thomas/CAFOD
Litany of Mary of Nazareth
Glory to you, God of our Creator … Breath into us new life, new meaning. Glory to you, God our Savior … Lead us in the way of peace and justice. Glory to you, God, healing Spirit … Transform us to empower others.
Mary, wellspring of peace ………. Be our guide, Model of strength Model of gentleness Model of trust Model of courage Model of patience Model of risk Model of openness Model of perseverance
Mother of the liberator ………. Pray for us. Mother of the homeless Mother of the dying Mother of the nonviolent Widowed mother Unwed mother Mother of political prisoner Mother of the condemned Mother of an executed criminal
Oppressed woman ………. Lead us to life. Liberator of the oppressed Marginalized woman Comforter of the afflicted Cause of our joy Sign of contradiction Breaker of bondage Political refugee Seeker of sanctuary First disciple Sharer in Christ’s ministry Participant in Christ’s passion Seeker of God’s will Witness to Christ’s resurrection
Woman of mercy ………. Empower us. Woman of faith Woman of contemplation Woman of vision Woman of wisdom and understanding Woman of grace and truth Woman, pregnant with hope Woman, centered in God
Mary, Queen of Peace, we entrust our lives to you. Shelter us from war, hatred and oppression. Teach us to live in peace, to educate ourselves for peace. Inspire us to act justly, to revere all God has made. Root peace firmly in our hearts and in our world. Amen.
From: The Fire of Peace: A Prayer Book Compiled and edited by Mary Lou Kownacki, OSB Pax Christi USA
Reading: God’s Call to Mary by Joan Chittister
To entitle the call of God to Mary the ‘annunciation’ is, at best, misleading. Somehow or another,‘annunciation’ just doesn’t say it. ‘Cataclysm’, perhaps. ‘Prophecy,’ maybe. But ‘Annunciation. Never. This, after all was no routine summons. This was an earth shattering, life-changing, revolutionary call. This was what happens when life is completely turned around, when the house burns down or the job disappears, or the stock market crashes. This was the kind of moment that called for that same kind of strength and faith and character. And Mary, the woman, though ‘deeply disturbed’ had more than enough of it all. She felt the truth of who she was within her. More than that, she felt the truth of who God is. Mary knew that God’s favour was indeed with her and that was enough to lead her on. It doesn’t hurt to remember, at times in which extraordinary witness, extraordinary faith, extraordinary commitment are required of us, that God’s favour is there with us too, to sustain the stress of bringing justice and love to birth and turning the world around – when neither the neighbourhood nor the nation want that to happen.
If you would like to discuss how Growing Old Grace-fully might help support older people in your parish then please visit our contact page here and get in touch.
